The Radical Catholic

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” -Jesus

For a long time, I numbed my inner turmoil with outward achievements and other pleasures that brought temporary satisfaction but never true and lasting peace. I never imagined that there could be something powerful enough to give me inner peace.

For me, receiving a state of mind and heart that trusts all will be well regardless of circumstances, was hard. I had the unconscious habit of blocking the good things God was trying to give me. I was either afraid that God’s gifts came with strings attached or afraid to believe in something so benevolent only to be disappointed later on.

Rediscovering Catholiscm helped me see that I was the one putting up the wall. And if I had the power to build the wall, I also had the power to tear it down.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” -Jesus

Through the broken wall, I humbly offered my angry and arrogant heart to Jesus, which never did give me much more than a false sense of power. I asked him to fill the void left behind with his kindness and humility, which he did and does repeatedly.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “By the blood of his Cross, he killed hostility.”

That’s what Jesus does for me. He kills the hostility within, so there’s less chance I’ll rebuild that painful wall which keeps true peace out.