So often, I’ve looked at my life and thought, “This shouldn’t happen to me.” Whether it’s was the struggles of my early childhood, missed opportunities, or many other challenges that seem to weigh me down, it’s a sentiment many of us share.
It’s precisely these moments when the concept of a loving and powerful God or a savior like Jesus Christ seems appealing in theory but impractical for life.
Why should someone else have the privilege of an intact family while I don’t? Why do some people get to see their mother live to a ripe old age while I’m left with her absence? Why do I feel the sting of rejection more acutely than the next person?
At one time, these questions led me to doubt the existence of a fair and loving God.
In the Bible, there’s a moment when Jesus’ disciple, Peter, hesitates at the idea of Jesus enduring the immense suffering of the crucifixion. “God forbid, Lord. Such a fate must never happen to you,” Peter implores. Yet, Jesus, with unwavering resolve, instructs Peter to step aside. He understands something Peter does not – that taking up his cross or suffering through the crucifixion was His only path to the true joy that only God can bring.
In many ways, I’m like Peter. I try to shield my loved ones and myself from hardship and suffering. I convinced myself that these struggles are errors, mistakes that a benevolent God should have spared us from. It’s unclear when I appointed myself as judge and jury of what should and shouldn’t be, but it’s a common mindset many of us have.
Our modern world is built on the idea that suffering should be minimized at all costs. Entire industries in medicine, psychology, beauty, education, and technology have flourished by promising us ways to escape discomfort. The constant barrage of messages in the media and online reinforces the notion that we are entitled to comfort and that suffering should be avoided whenever possible.
But who decided that suffering is bad in the first place? Who determined that the growth and fulfillment that hardships bring aren’t worth it?
Recently, something shifted within me. A priest at my local parish spoke about the profound joy of embracing your cross and accepting your sufferings as gifts from God. This idea goes against the grain of what most well-intentioned people advise. At best, I’ve been shown how to cope with my struggles. At worst, to numb myself with various distractions, some of which are healthy, but most of which are not.
Yet, today, I understand that the suffering I’ve been running from all my life is the very path to the joy I’ve been looking for.
I’ve spent a lifetime searching for happiness in this world. I can tell you from experience that no material pursuit on Earth –success, fame, wealth, family, friends or health – has provided the inner joy untouchable by life’s ups and downs.
However, when I accept instead of resist life circumstances that seem unbearable, an amazing shift happens. My heart softens and I I become more receptive to God’s all-powerful but often hidden presence.
Turning everything over to God and trusting He’s there differs from feeling or believing He’s there. Trust is an action I take without proof it will get me what I want. I trust because the act of faith itself, not a change in circumstances, is what produces the unshakable peace I seek.
To take up my cross is to know that my suffering has a noble purpose. It’s an opportunity to reverse course and put my trust back into God instead of the world. This isn’t a copout or an escape. There’s nothing easy about it.
But it’s the most rewarding and sustainable way to true joy. How lucky are we that Jesus courageously demonstrated it for us.
The Radical Catholic 
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