To some degree, we are all unhappy. Some of us turn to the spiritual life for help. Others turn their efforts to improving themselves or chasing worldly pleasures for distraction and comfort.
How can we unwind this pervasive dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives? We need a plan and a practice that engages and integrates both our spiritual and material lives.
Jesus Christ gave us that plan. It consists of two actions. Love God and love others.
As it turns out, 2,000 years later, this simple plan takes work to implement. I try to keep myself on track with something I call the Four F’s:
Forgive. Forget. Faith. Forward.
Forgive.
In every moment of every day, we are likely judging something, someone, or ourselves. It’s almost impossible to stop. The best antidote to this constant condemnation is to forgive everything. Let no judgment escape. If you do, it’s only at your peril. Jesus said to forgive seventy-seven times, which translates into forgiving 24/7. It’s a continuous and never-ending practice.
Without forgiveness, we can’t love God, others or even ourselves. Forgiveness unblocks the heart, which is how we receive the love from God that we send back to him and share with others. We can’t love on our own. Love is of God, not of us. We must first open to love from its source so we can experience and share it.
When it’s hard to forgive, as it often is, ask Jesus to forgive what you cannot.
The first practice toward loving God and others is to forgive everything and always.
Forget.
We are too preoccupied with ourselves, our wants, and our needs. We fear that if we don’t watch out for ourselves, no one will. This hyperfocus causes us more suffering than it does protection. When we only think about ourselves, our lacks, faults, failures, and limitations become magnified.
We need to forget ourselves, that combination of past regrets and future anxieties that imprison us in fear, doubt, and loathing. With self-imposed amnesia, we free up all our mental and emotional energy to give, create, and share without the least bit of worry.
Let go of what you want and focus on what God wants.
The second practice toward loving God and others is to forget yourself.
Faith.
We must trust that God knows what is best for us. He sees with a much higher awareness and understanding than we can ever have. This takes a huge amount of humility, as we have been trained to believe that we know what is best for ourselves, those we love, and the world in general.
To trust God, we must have faith that he is real and all-powerful and wants us to be deeply, not superficially, happy. We can offer him our prayers, ask for what we want but with this caveat, may your will be done, not mine.
Humble yourself. Let God take over the reigns of your life.
The third practice toward loving God and others is to have faith in God’s wisdom.
Forward.
Most of our unhappiness stems from waiting for a sign that things are going our way. We have a personal vision of utopia, events and circumstances that we deem necessary for our happiness. Another’s approval of our beliefs, the right partner, a certain amount of success, an ideal body or peace in our relationships and the world.
We can put our lives on hold waiting until the time is right. Waiting until we “feel” the Holy Spirit move us. However, many times the time becomes right when we take an active part in life even when we don’t feel so moved to do so.
Don’t wait. Start living, giving and receiving right where you are and how you are.
The fourth practice toward loving God and others is to move forward without waiting.
So, there you have it, friends. The Four F’s are my prescription for carrying out Jesus Christ’s plan to love God and others for the sake of our happiness , which is nothing less than our salvation from everything that is soul-crushing.
Forgive everything and always.
Forget yourself.
Faith in God’s wisdom.
Forward without waiting.
I am focusing on these practices in all I do, big and small, from grocery shopping to making career decisions to relationship issues. Slowly, but surely, a surprising kind of happiness emerges, one that has nothing to do with getting what I want.
“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder.” – J. Richard Lessor.
The Radical Catholic 
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