Recently, I returned from Medjugorje, a town in Bosnia and Herzegovina that has been an unofficial place of Catholic pilgrimage since the Virgin Mary allegedly appeared on Apparition Hill in 1981 and continues to do so today.
Since my return to the Catholic faith a couple of years ago, one stumbling block has been Mary, the mother of Jesus. I didn’t understand why she was such an important figure and why I was advised to pray for her intercession with her son. I began a daily routine of praying the rosary, a meditative practice that focuses on the lives and virtues of Jesus and Mary. Within a few weeks, I saw my compassion increase and my selfishness decrease with no effort.
However, something in my heart whispered that I needed to better understand Jesus’ mother. When an opportunity arose to go to Medjugorje and stay at the guesthouse of a man named Ivan, to whom the Virgin first appeared over forty years ago and still appears each day, I immediately accepted, knowing it was not a coincidence.
After my decision, many obstacles arose, but they couldn’t stop me. People I trusted were surprised and questioned my apparent lack of judgment, giving merit to unproven apparitions. Non-Catholics were discouraging, claiming that any adoration of Mary was simple idol worship that should be focused on Jesus. Finally, my fear of making a mistake reared its ugly head, giving me many sleepless nights.
The pilgrimage to Medjugorje was beyond worth it. I received three gifts of God’s grace that I am convinced I could not have achieved without Mary’s intervention.
Faith: Different from belief, faith is a knowing of your heart, mind, and body without any sufficient human explanation. When I attempt to explain my faith, the words cheapen the actual experience of it. Faith is a private and unique gift from God to me that is not to be shared lightly.
On the other hand, belief is an act of human will in which we collect all the facts and make a “rational” decision that we can justify. Faith cannot be justified by human standards. It is a supernatural experience that changes each person to the core but in a uniquely and different way according to each person’s needs as determined by God.
I received the gift of faith in Medjugorje through a series of events and realizations that I won’t describe because they won’t make sense to you. And that is a great lesson. They only have to make sense to me, bringing me closer to God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit through Mary’s loving and unceasing prayers for me and humanity.
Forgiveness: More than giving another person a pass or a second chance, forgiveness is the freedom of my own heart. When I hold on to the ways I’ve been hurt or hurt others, my emotions are paralyzed. There is no freedom in stuck emotion. Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want; it is an unfettered heart, clear of all grievance and condemnation. When your heart is free, you have peace.
Everything we desire in life, good health, a happy family, success in our careers, and a fine reputation, is an attempt to bring peace to our restless hearts. Hearts that are agitated by the wounds we have inflicted on others and they have inflicted on us. However, these attempts to find peace by creating “ideal” external circumstances never work in the long run.
In Medjugorje, Mary’s simple yet repetitive insistence through her continuing apparitions is that peace comes only through constant prayer. True prayer reveals the deep layers of unforgiveness and stuck emotions that we often run away from, distracting ourselves with healthy pursuits, as mentioned above, and unhealthy pursuits, including all types of addictions, pride, and selfishness.
In a message to Jelena in 1984, another “seer” of the apparitions, Mary said, “When you pray you must pray more. Prayer is a dialogue with God. Prayer is understanding God. Prayer is necessary because after praying everything becomes clearer. Prayer is to know happiness. Prayer is to learn to cry. Praying is learning to bloom, to open like flowers. Prayer is not a joke. Prayer is really a dialogue with God.”
Praying for an outcome defeats the purpose of true prayer, which is the revelation of what you still hold onto that blocks what you want. Along with a daily rosary, I’ve been inspired to PRAY unceasingly this way:
Praise, thank the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for anything and everything. Repent, admit the ways I choose myself or worldly things over God. Ask, offer my needs and wants. Yield, humbly surrender to God’s plan for the situation, for his wisdom and perspective are always greater than mine.
Fidelity: The week I went to Medjugorje was the International Youth Festival, during which 50,000 Catholics and 700 priests descended on this small town for prayer, testimonies, music, candle procession, adoration, and presentations.
At first, having so many people around felt hectic. However, I was awe-struck by the reverence these pilgrims demonstrated. Despite going to mass outside St. James Church and hiking up Apparition Hill and Cross Mountain at dawn break with thousands, the respect and admiration were tangible.
Witnessing how the Catholic virtues of faith, hope, charity, prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude produce a different kind of human being—one with more interior peace of the heart, which changes how they behave and interact- strengthened my loyalty to the faith.
Now that I am home, I recognize that Mary is undoubtedly our gentle and loving mother who has been charged with bringing humanity closer to her son, Jesus. We must listen to her. Although I did not see Mary during Ivan’s daily apparitions, which I attended, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t present. Over the week, the fruits of her invisible presence became evident.
If Mary is calling to you, either through mere curiosity or intense passion, answer her call. Let this holiest of human beings encourage you to a life of prayer that draws you closer to God’s peace.
Through her trials and triumphs on earth, birthing and raising her son, suffering his death, and rejoicing in his resurrection, she knows intimately how painful yet hopeful the human experience can be.
As you journey through life, you can have no better model and guide than Mary to keep you focused on the love of Jesus Christ.
The Radical Catholic 
Leave a comment