I carried a weight for a long time that almost broke me. I suspect you do, too. Maybe you don’t talk about it or barely let yourself feel it, but it’s there.
Resentment.
Resentment toward the parent, trusted friend or partner who failed you. Resentment toward the life that didn’t turn out the way you hoped. Maybe even resentment toward a God you’re not sure exists, and if He does, you wonder why He let certain things happen.
Considering what you’ve been through, you’ve tried to be a decent person to the best of your ability, but inside, there’s a knot of anger and hurt you’ve tried to bury. It surfaces when you snap at those you love, feel disconnected from the world or collapse in exhaustion.
You can’t outrun what’s buried in your heart. It will leak out in ways you don’t expect and weigh you down more than you realize.
You don’t have to suppress it. You don’t have to pretend it’s not there. And you don’t have to handle it on your own.
The ache you feel, the frustration that simmers beneath the surface, is not weakness. It’s a signal that your heart was never meant to carry so much pain without release, without healing.
God wants to help you wrestle honestly with your anger, doubts, and pain, offering a healing you can’t create alone. Forgiveness isn’t something you do yourself or can earn through your efforts. It is a grace, a free gift that God gives. That’s why so many people can’t forgive others or themselves. They think it’s something they control.
You may not be sure if God is real or if He cares. But what if He’s been waiting all along, patiently, for you to turn toward Him with all your questions and say: I don’t know if You’re there, but I can’t carry this anymore. If You are, help me.
Your resentment, anger, and pain don’t make you unlovable. It makes you human. But staying trapped in it will slowly harden your heart, and you know it’s already stealing joy from your family and peace from your soul.
Let grace do what effort never could.
Try sitting with that hurt in silence today. Speak it aloud, even if just to the air. And then ask: God, if You’re real or care, meet me here.
You might be surprised how He answers.
The Radical Catholic 
Leave a comment