Every moment, I find myself at a crossroads. Will I allow God’s power to flow through my life, or will I stubbornly cling to my own control, my own self-reliance?
It’s a struggle many of us face, a battle between the comfort of what we know and the uncertainty of surrendering to something greater.
God’s power is overwhelming and unpredictable. Ultimately, I know it will be for my highest good, but I must admit, sometimes I like what isn’t so good for me because I’m used to it. Change, even for my benefit, means stopping living on autopilot and starting to pay more attention.
My control, though it may seem safer, is a heavy burden. It’s A constant effort, a never-ending vigilance against the threats that could undermine the good I strive for. The weight of this responsibility is exhausting, and I yearn for a simpler, lighter path.
If I could trust God enough to put my whole life and the lives of those I love into his hands, my life would be much simpler. I could wake up every morning unburdened, thinking about nothing except how to love God and love others to the best of my ability. Instead of making thousands of choices daily, I would only have to make these two.
It would be a surrender of control but not a loss of power—it would be aligning myself with a greater power that created the whole universe.
So, why do I hesitate? Why do I, like Eve, entertain the serpent’s whispers of doubt? Because I am ashamed to admit that I don’t want to give up something I value more than God, my self-reliance.
I’m not comfortable with God’s unlimited power. But self-reliance has yet to live up to its promises. It’s prevented me from accepting my inability to deal with life’s most challenging moments alone. I am doing the best I can, but it’s not enough.
I must choose between the control and the power I don’t.
God gave me free will to be in control of my choices. He doesn’t force his power on me. Instead, he patiently waits until invited. Asking for God to work his power in my life is a choice I make in my time, and I must allow God to respond in His time.
God’s power isn’t to be feared. It’s to be welcomed in a loving relationship founded on trust and mutual respect. In this dance of human will and divine grace, I can extend the invitation, and be assured that God’s response promises to transform me for a life of love and fulfillment beyond my wildest dreams.
The Radical Catholic 
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